I'm Tired

I'm tired of this. All of this. This existance, this life, these problems, this family drama, these decisions. I'm tired of all of it. I'm calling it quits. I'm done.

I'm tired of things not getting better. I'm tired of being made to feel as if I'm stupid and have to justify my decisions. I'm tired of being asked questions and being told I give the wrong answers. I'm just tired. Mentally and physically exhausted by the burdon that is life. People will try to tell me that I should keep plugging away, that I need to just keep going, blah blah blah. That I have sooo much going for me, that I am so loved, blah blah blah.

Newsflash Ladies and Gentlemen:
                                   None of that means a damn thing.

Because at the end of the day, it's just me fighting this. I stand alone in front of a mountain that is unsurpassable. No one else has to deal with this, just me. Me, me, me..... and I don't have anything left. I'm just a shell of a former self. Hollow and gaunt by comparison. Lacking in motivation and drive to succeed. Without purpose or reason.

I'm tired of people telling me that I need to communicate with them cause "we can't help you if you don't ask" . Well guess what? If I'm not asking for help than I either don't want or need it. Talking (to thse people) solves nothing, it only creates more problems. More conflict. I'm not a fan of it in the slightest. Plus, my first response to someone in my head is probably better left unsaid.

I can't keep doing this to myself. I just can't keep going. I'm done. ALL DONE.